IN THE BEGINNING…
We all know that in the beginning there was Jack, and Jack had a groove, and from this groove came the groove of all grooves…and one day while viciously throwing down on his box Jack boldly declared: let there be house. And house music was born.
This is not where the story ends though.
We consult Frankie 3:1-8.
1. And Jack delivered unto Frankie in the Club of Eden four pieces of vinyl. And Jack saw when Frankie opened one of the vinyl and put it on the first turntable, and Jack heard, as it were the noise of 125 BPM and one of the four Bootycorns saying, Come and see.
2. And Jack saw, and behold a white Bootycorn. And he that sat upon him held a bow; and a crown was given unto him great rhythm at 125 BPM. And he went forth as a conqueror of dance floors around the world bent on conquest.
3. And when Frankie had opened the second piece of vinyl and put it on the second turntable, Jack heard the second beast say, Come and see.
4. And there went out another Bootycorn that was red: and power was given to him that sat thereon to take funk from the Earth, that they should spread funk to one another over every dancefloor. And to him was given a wicked funky wonky disco bassline.
5. And when Frankie had opened the third piece of vinyl and placed it upon the third turntable, Jack heard the third Bootycorn say, Come and see. And Jack beheld a black Bootycorn; and he that sat on him had a pair of headphones around his neck.
6. And Jack heard a voice in the midst of the four Bootycorns say, A measure of vicious beats for a bar tab, and three measures of progressive beats for a dollar; and see thou hurt not the dancers nor the dancefloor.
7. And when Frankie had opened the fourth vinyl and put it on the forth turntable, Jack heard the voice of the fourth beast say, Come and see.
8. And Jack looked, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Ecstacy, and Love followed with him. And power was given unto them over the fourth part of the earth, to slay the dancefloors with love, and with beats, and with music, and with the 4 Bootycorns of the Earth.